I’ve decided that maybe I need to pen down my thoughts more often so that I can sort it out.
When things go wrong, I can never fully figure out where I went wrong and what I should do differently in the future to avoid such things from happening.
I just feel so wronged today. Even if it was just bad timing or whatever, I still can’t help but think back on what went so fucking wrong that things had to turn out the way it did. What did I say or do that triggered such a reaction? How could I have avoided it and avoided my evening from being ruined? Was it really my fault? Which parts could I have done otherwise? Why are some people so difficult to interact with?
Regardless of whatever I said/did, I don’t think I deserve to have borne the brunt of someone else’s frustration, especially not in a professional setting.
Whatever I said/did was done in service of my job and as a staff. Even if I could have presented the information better (verbally I mean), I seriously don’t think I should have had to deal with such angst.
It just makes me so upset. But I guess I’ll just have to learn from this and avoid stepping on others’ toes in the future.
(Life is too tiring. Dealing with people is so tiring. If only we were all robots. All the same and all unfeeling. Screw human culture and passions. We are a bunch of screwed up atoms who deserve to just kill the earth from our greed and selfishness and stupidity and die with it. The universe would wave good riddance and forget us in a blink.)